Kim Kardashian, as my boyfriend Joel McHale from The Soup likes to remind us, is famous for having a big ass and a sex tape. And because we're at the threshold of hell, listening to the faint galloping of the four horsemen of the apocalypse grow louder with each passing day, having a big ass and a sex tape is not only enough to land you a reality TV show, it's enough to get your entire family a show. Exhibit A; Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
Apparently the Kardashians have recently added to their brood in the form of a pet chimp named Suzy....
With a family made up of the names Kris, Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall and Kylie, I'm fucking shocked this animal isn't named Kuzy.
Please, oh please let Suzy be related to Travis. You remember Travis, right? The chimp who went buck wild one day and tore the face off his human mother's friend? Yeah, that one.
When FaceOff Chimp Travis wasn't starring in Old Navy and Coke commercials, he was eating, sleeping and bathing with his human mom. Sick? Yes but one has to believe his life was better than that of the Kardashian's new pet...
They've dressed up poor, sweet Suzy like a common whore and have her working a stripper pole. Nice. You just know Suzy is on that blackberry typing to her chimp friends "I'm gonna pull a Travis and rip at least one of these bitch's faces off! I might meet the same fate as Travis, my body riddled with bullets courtesy of the popo but fuck, it will be totally worth it."Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2009/02/i-hope-suzy-is-related-to-travis.html
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