Ressurected in Three Days

I wait until 6:00am, sharp.

I'm such a bastard. I get up, get dressed and head downstairs to Igor's crib ringing his doorbell, repeatedly. After a few rings a terrified voice asks, "Who is it?" It's me Igor, Hobobob. There is rustling behind the door, and shortly Igor cracks it open, sticking his head out. Alright Igor, you've got me up. What's the story with the cable? "Ugh," he says, bleary eyed. "I'm sleep." Yeah, so? "Uhhh, my cellphone, something is wrong with it." Like what. "Look, can you come back and we'll deal with this?" I look at him. What do you care about sleep Igor? "Please, can you come back around 9:00am?" I look at him more. Alright boss. I'll be back at nine, sharp. "Okay, good night." He closes the door, I chuckle.

I return to my room, look at my modem. It's still flashing one light instead of four. Great. I crawl into bed, and amazingly, I fall to sleep. Right away, and even more amazingly, I wake up ten minutes to Nine. Damn. Something in the universe just WANTS me to harangue Igor. I jump up and head to his door, ringing it again. "Who is it!" Comes from the other side. Hobobob, rise and shine Igor! The door opens, he looks beat. I've awoken him again. YIPPEE!! He opens the door and lets me in. "There's something wrong with my Cell phone," he begins. He sits down on the edge of his bed and picks up his iPhone from the floor. His room is a general mess, much like mine.

"See, it's not working," he raises the device. It blares, "Time Warner Cable, please hold." He jumps. "OH SHIT, it works. I sit on his bed with my Time Warner Cable paperwork. I want to prove to them that I paid my bill. They shouldn't have cut me off. Bastards if they did. Igor gives them my account number, they tell him that I need to unplug the modem. We race upstairs and I crawl under the table, unplug and plug in the modem. Igor stays on the phone. We do a few things here and there but nothing seems to work. "I'm sorry sir," the technician says. "You'll have to either have one of our servicemen come in and replace the modem or you can go down to our service center on 23rd street and exchange it there. "

Igor asks when can a serviceman come? The earliest date is the 29th. Today is the 20th. Damn near two weeks. That is fucking unacceptable. Igor asks to be transferred to Technical Support. Damn good idea! This Technical Support Technician goes through more diagnostic testing. The problem...they cannot see the modem as being online. It's probably the modem. Igor jumps up. He has a modem in his house, from when he used to have cable. BEAUTIFUL! He runs off for it. Since I'm familiar with this business, I work on the modem more. Nothing. Shit. Now on Monday, I'll have to run down to 23rd street for a new modem if Igor can't find his. There is running down the hall, my bell rings. It's Igor. "I got it! I got it!"

He hands it over to me and I plug it in. Nothing. we run diagnostics on it. Nothing. There is no signal reaching the modem. They've done something to a junction box somewhere. The fuckers, in probably installing a line, knocked out mine. The Technician gives up, transfers us back to Accounts who tries to schedule us anew for a serviceman visit. The closest one is on Tuesday. Well, at least that's fucking better than next week. I have to be in the house between 2:00 and 6:00. Hmmm, I have an appearance with WECARE, but I obviously don't remember what date. Watch that it's on the same date that I have to be at WECARE. Why don't I remember what day I have to be at WECARE? Because it's online, in my email. Which I can't get to. I hope it's on Monday. I really do. Then I can sit down in my house in peace on Tuesday without running back and forth and running the risk of missing them.

I look at Igor. He looks at me, and hangs up. "I can't live till Tuesday without the Internet," he moans. Me neither, Igor. Me neither. "What am I going to do?" We wait, I guess. We just wait. Hopefully we can be back in business by Tuesday evening. He stands up, dejected. I lock the door behind him when he leaves. Well, I have no Internet, that's beautiful. I'm completely out of commission for three days. What do I intend to do?

Monday morning, at 6:00, I'm going downstairs to Starbucks, buy something with my Black card and then start up my Internet connection again, check my date to be at WECARE and catch up on important emails. That's my fucking plan. I can't wait three days without the Internet. I just can't. I think seriously. Will it work? Will I be able to get on Monday morning, and have Tuesday off to make this important meeting? One damn thing is for sure, I'm not leaving my keys with Igor, which will be his plan if I can't sit here and wait.

Even so, my meeting with Charliqua Lovebiscuit is at 10:30, which means, I have more than enough time to meet with her, and get back. That would be good.

That's the plan.

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