Cherry Filled Candy is Just as Tasty

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And there you have it.

I had the Cablevision guy come over today. But that is the story for later. Last night I got out of the house and to some bedbug infested theater to watch Battle:LA. Yeah, I love science fiction and warfare and this was a good combination. Can't do bad with that, now can you? So my brother, OBSIDIAN and I decided to go together and check it out. We blasted out to see it at a theater on Broadway and copped some portables.



You know what 'portables' are, don't you? Pints of hooch. Yeah. Pints of the good stuff. Here's the story that goes with that. I went downstairs to the Chinaman that runs the liquor store next door and asked for a pint of cheap vodka for me and a pint of dark rum for my brother. As if in some Saturday Night Live skit, the guy says to me "No pint dark rum". I nod, okay, give me a pint of 'light' rum. He says: "No pint light rum." Well, do you have a pint of anything? He reaches back behind him  and takes a pint of cheap vodka off the shelf.



No problem. My brother's highbrow tastes will just have to be put on hold for tonight. This guy only carries what sells. And here, in my neighborhood, it's either expensive wine of cheap vodka, in service to both the upper and lower class.



We check out the movie and it's completely kick ass. Bombs, explosions, people getting killed wholesale, a man squashed by a flipping car, a bad assed chick with a gun (Michele Rodriguez). Let me tell you, NOTHING makes a movie like a bad assed chick with a gun. Guys like me love that shit. We can't eat it up enough. But, as my brother so faithfully brought out. I HATE that shit in real life. I dated a girl who played with handguns and it was a serious turnoff for me. That is someone that I would keep my distance from, not because I hate her. In fact, she has a wonderful personality. It's that I don't want to get shot just because she's on the rag and smears her makeup.



And I don't fall for that feminist bullshit that if a man get's shot by a woman than he had it coming. That's a batch of ratshit because once you bring some fucked up fact like some sensible and smart female astronaut, the pinnacle of female intellect, packs her car with: latex gloves, a black wig, a BB pistol and ammunition, pepper spray, a hooded tan trench coat, a 2-pound drilling hammer, black gloves, rubber tubing, plastic garbage bags, about $585 in cash, her computer, an 8-inch Gerber folding knife and several other items to kidnap her EX's new girlfriend, the FEMsquad passes over it as if they didn't hear it, or say that she is a fluke of nature. They hate to admit it that their gender is just as fucked up as ours. End of that fucking story.



But Michele Rodriguez is so butch, and so hot, as well as Bridget Moynahan who unfortunately doesn't use a gun, but she is still hot all fucked up, hair un-combed and face smeared with dirt. She pulls off sexy even if covered with blood and carrying a chainsaw. But the movie was seriously kick ass, with some fucked up aliens doing the nasty to the California coast and wrecking all of the McDonalds and Starbucks in sight.



So I get wasted watching this outrageous movie and stumble home. OBSIDIAN and I talk for awhile outside until it gets too late, or early in the morning, whichever way you want to look at it, and I come upstairs and crash. I haven't done that in ages. Neither have I slept so soundly for like five hours. A good long time in my book.



In the morning there is a ringing on my phone. It's the Cablevision guy. He is coming over in 30 minutes to work on my connection. Okay, here we go with the clown show. I wait and when throwing out my garbage I find the guy wandering  in the hallway looking for my door number. I invite him down the hall and into my room. Immediately he looks at my modem and says, "I don't see a problem." I tell him that's the reason for this entire affair. There ISN'T a problem now. There was a problem BEFORE. He points to my router. "That's the problem." No it isn't. I've isolated it before and I've still had the problem.



He scratches his head, checks his diagnostic hardware, points out that I am doing excellent. Then he calls his boss who is at a router and they do an internal diagnostic. Nothing. Everything is in the green. So you can't do anything? I ask. "There's nothing to do." He replies. There's nothing to fix. I nod. "You have to be careful because they'll start charging you $40.00 every time they send someone over and there is no problem." Oh really. Well, somebody better do something or I'm going to cancel this shit and go to another provider and see what they can do for me.



He does a little light maintenance and waves goodbye. I let him go. I'm sick of fighting these guys. Fuck em. The next time this shit goes down I'm going to raise some natural Hell. End of story. Cablevision THOUGHT that Battle:LA was bad assed violence and mayhem on a state-wide scale!

Wait until they see my version of Battle:Cablevision!

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