Monday, May 10, 2010

Summer Movie Q & A

    Recently the Hollywood trade paper "Film de Cinema" (founder: Jiff Ramsey) sat down with darrlin bands for a little question and answer period relating to the upcoming wannabe blockbuster ridden summer movie season. This is the full transcript.

    Film de Cinema: So what you are most thankful for as we get set to undertake the next four months of movies?
    darrlin bands: Certainly that "Transformers 3" won't be out until next summer. Any summer free of Michael Bay is a good one. Also, that "Transformers 3" won't be starring someone like, say, Frances McDormand.
    FdC: Uh, actually it will.
    CR: I hate everything.
    FdC: Moving on....what movies set for release in 2010 are you most excited about?
    CR: Definitely "Nottingham" with Russell Crowe.
    FdC: Oops. Again, hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but the title of that one was actually changed to "Robin Hood."

    CR: Why? What happened?
    FdC: In (Director) Ridley Scott's own words: "If you're going to invest in a Robin Hood story, why call it Nottingham? You'd end up spending 80% of the publicity budget explaining why it's Nottingham, not just Robin Hood. It doesn't make any sense."
    CR: Really? 80%? Don't most people associate Nottingham - as in, The Sheriff of Nottingham - with Robin Hood?
    FdC: I suppose.
    CR: But it doesn't make any sense?
    FdC: Well-
    CR: So is it no longer told from the point of view of the Sheriff of Nottingham?
    FdC: 'Fraid not. Scott and Russell Crowe didn't like the script's original approach and decided to make it more traditional.
    CR: Wait, wait, wait. Traditional? Or "real"?
    FdC: "Real", probably.
    CR: "Real", as in gritty?
    FdC: From the sound of it. The Hollywood Reporter advised it was going to be "dark and brooding."
    CR: Oh God. Two hours of Russell Crowe glowering.
    FdC: I should probably mention, too, that it won't be starring your official Cinematic Crush Sienna Miller in the role of-
    CR: Do not get me started.
    FdC: Right. Sorry. They're also touting its historical accuracy.
    CR: Historical accuracy? Based on what? The mythical Robin Hood? This whole thing's just gonna turn into that "King Arthur" movie "based on the true story that inspired the legend," isn't it?
    FdC: You mean the one with Clive Owen?
    CR: Exactly! That movie took itself so seriously I thought I was watching a Tom Cruise interview!
    FdC: Maybe we should switch gears. How excited are you to see that new Tom Cruise movie, "Knight and Day?"

    CR: Super excited!
    FdC: Seriously?
    CR: Hey, why can't I want to see a big budget potential crap fest? I might even buy popcorn for that one!
    FdC: How about "The A Team?"
    CR: How can you possibly have "The A Team" without George Peppard?
    FdC: The same way you can have "The Karate Kid" without Ralph Macchio.
    CR: Then you'd think they could at least make a movie called "Cyrus" without Miley.
    FdC: They did! "Cyrus", by The Duplass Brothers!
    CR: Really? The Duplass Brothers have a movie coming out in the summer? Is Mumblecore trying to go mainstream?
    FdC: What's Mumblecore?
    CR: Have you not seen "Quiet City?"
    FdC: No. I haven't.
    CR: For God's sake, see it. EVERYONE, see "Quiet City!"
    FdC: Are you just shamelessly plugging one of your favorite films of the past decade?
    CR: Yes. I apologize. I just can't help myself.
    FdC: So....what else would you want to see this summer?

    CR: "Inception", certainly, and I can't lie - I want to see "The Other Guys" too.
    FdC: "Iron Man 2?"
    CR: Oh, totally. Downey Jr. getting to talk more than he did in "Sherlock Holmes." Mickey Rourke as a villain. Even though I really like Scarlett Johannson in certain situations I'm a bit wary of her in action role but still....I'll be there.
    FdC: Okay, we have to ask. After his recent catastrophe are you excited for "The Last Airbender", the new film from M. Night Shymalan? Do you think his action scenes will deliver the goods?
    CR: Forget about the action scenes. The real question is did he go back to film school and simply re-learn how to correctly frame a standard shot?
    FdC: How about the new "Twilight" movie?
    CR: Next.
    FdC: "The Sorcerer's Apprentice?"
    CR: Next!
    FdC: "Prince of Persia: Sands of Time?"
    CR: Next!
    FdC: "Toy Story 3?"
    CR: Wake me when it's not animated.
    FdC: "Marmaduke?"
    CR: Oh, come on!
    FdC: Okay, how about this? Your favorite actor, Billy Crudup, is set to star in the adaptation of "Eat, Pray, Love" opposite Julia Roberts. Your thoughts?
    CR: "Eat, Pray, Love?" I'm still trying to figure out why "Pretty Bird" isn't available on Netflix.
    FdC: You must have an opinion.
    CR: Can we just call this the summer of my discontent?
    FdC: But you said any summer without Michael Bay is a good one.
    CR: That was until I found out Frances McDormand was in "Transformers 3."

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