Now that the nominations for the 83rd Academy Awards have been unveiled the time has arrived for darrlin bands to answer the most pertinent questions. Let's get to it. (A full list of the nominees can be found here.)
Q: What are your thoughts on Tom Cruise's announcement that he and Katie would not be attending this year's ceremony? ......... Wait, why are you gathering batteries, canned food and bottled water?
A: I just assumed the world was ending.
Q: Is Christian Bale ("The Fighter") a lock for Best Supporting Actor?
A: He is, unless a Youtube video surfaces in the next 6 weeks of him on his latest film setting the craft services table on fire while berating interns. Which is 72% possible.
Q: During his Golden Globe acceptance speech did Bale really say of Mark Wahlberg (lead actor in "The Fighter") that "You can only give a loud performance like I gave when you have a quiet anchor. I've played that character many times and it never gets any notice."
A: He did.
Q: So did Mark Wahlberg's performance get nominated for Best Actor?
A: No.
Q: So we're assuming Colin Firth's got the Best Actor for "The King's Speech" all sewn up?
A: Oh, absolutely, and he's entirely worthy of it. Although I'm still sad Edward Norton got absolutely no play whatsoever for his work in "Stone."
Q: "Stone?" I haven't heard about that one. Is that a biopic about Oliver Stone?
A: (Head in hands.)
Q: Do you like Annette Bening's ("The Kids Are All Right") chances to beat out Natalie Portman ("Black Swan") for Best Actress?
A: As a totally non-partial, unbiased observer I can say that I toasted champagne when Hilary beat you in 2005, Bening, and I'm gonna toast champagne in 2011 when Natalie beats you into oblivion again.
Q: Damn, man, have you got a personal grudge against Annette Bening?
A: No! Honest, I don't! She just keeps getting nominated opposite these performances that mean a great deal to me. I was rooting against Kate Winslet in 2005, for God's sake, I wanted Hilary Swank to win so much!
Q: Really? Does Kate Winslet know about this?
A: Just forget it. It never happened. Next question.
Q: Melissa Leo ("The Fighter") earned Best Supporting Actress at the Golden Globes? Does this put her in the driver's seat for the Oscar?
A: Finally! A category with some juice! Leo squaring off her with own film's co-star Amy Adams and with Helena Bonham Carter for "The King's Speech" and Jacki Weaver for "Animal Kingdom" (who's totally awesome, by the way) and Hallee Steinfeld for "True Grit".
Q: Hold it. Wasn't Hallee Steinfeld in essentially every scene in that movie?
A: Hey, she has a better chance winning in this category than she does for Best Actress.
Q: So you think Steinfeld will win?
A: Nope. I'm predicting......wait for it......Amy Adams! That's right, loyal readers! Mark it down! You read it here first! Amy Adams overcomes the Cancel-Each-Other-Out Factor with Leo to win and thereby give the most "painfully earnest" acceptance speech in Oscar history!
Q: Looking at the nominees for Best Director seems to indicate-
A: Fincher.
Q: But I didn't get a chance to-
A: Fincher.
Q: You're rooting for Aronofsky, though, so don't you think he might-
A: Fincher.
Q: So is "The Social Network", winner of the top prize at The Golden Globes, a shoe-in for Best Picture? Or will "The King's Speech", recent winner of Best Picture at the Producer's Guild Awards, steal its facebooking thunder?
A: Myron Plotz, associate director at the National Backlash Center in Burbank, CA, predicts a significant wave of backlash post-nominations against "The Social Network" for "misreading new media" will propel "The King's Speech" to front-runner status before a wave of backlash against "The King's Speech" for choosing to portray Colin Firth's cinematic stutter solely as "a by-product of emotional abuse" allows "The Social Network" to surge back to the lead and hold off "The King's Speech" by a nose at the wire.
Q: But what about the fact that in real life Mark Zuckerberg did not create Facebook simply as a means to get girls? That he actually already had and continues to have the same girlfriend?
A: Did you know that the real life Karen Hill of "Goodfellas" had an affair with the Paul Sorvino character and that the Joe Pesci character tried to rape her?
Q: Well-
A: Did you know the real life Robert Gould Shaw of "Glory" at first declined the offer to command the 54th Massachusetts Infantry and that there wasn't actually a runaway slave named Trip in the outfit?
Q: Yeah, but-
A: Did you know that the Max Schreck of "Shadow Of The Vampire" who filmed "Nosferatu" in 1921 wasn't really a vampire? ......... Wait, why are you trying to unplug my keybo-Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2011/01/oscar-nomination-q.html
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Q: What are your thoughts on Tom Cruise's announcement that he and Katie would not be attending this year's ceremony? ......... Wait, why are you gathering batteries, canned food and bottled water?
A: I just assumed the world was ending.
Q: Is Christian Bale ("The Fighter") a lock for Best Supporting Actor?
A: He is, unless a Youtube video surfaces in the next 6 weeks of him on his latest film setting the craft services table on fire while berating interns. Which is 72% possible.
Q: During his Golden Globe acceptance speech did Bale really say of Mark Wahlberg (lead actor in "The Fighter") that "You can only give a loud performance like I gave when you have a quiet anchor. I've played that character many times and it never gets any notice."
A: He did.
Q: So did Mark Wahlberg's performance get nominated for Best Actor?
A: No.
Q: So we're assuming Colin Firth's got the Best Actor for "The King's Speech" all sewn up?
A: Oh, absolutely, and he's entirely worthy of it. Although I'm still sad Edward Norton got absolutely no play whatsoever for his work in "Stone."
Q: "Stone?" I haven't heard about that one. Is that a biopic about Oliver Stone?
A: (Head in hands.)
 |
| Edward Norton & Milla Jovovich will tragically, but predictably, each only be attending the Oscars as someone's date. |
A: As a totally non-partial, unbiased observer I can say that I toasted champagne when Hilary beat you in 2005, Bening, and I'm gonna toast champagne in 2011 when Natalie beats you into oblivion again.
Q: Damn, man, have you got a personal grudge against Annette Bening?
A: No! Honest, I don't! She just keeps getting nominated opposite these performances that mean a great deal to me. I was rooting against Kate Winslet in 2005, for God's sake, I wanted Hilary Swank to win so much!
Q: Really? Does Kate Winslet know about this?
A: Just forget it. It never happened. Next question.
Q: Melissa Leo ("The Fighter") earned Best Supporting Actress at the Golden Globes? Does this put her in the driver's seat for the Oscar?
A: Finally! A category with some juice! Leo squaring off her with own film's co-star Amy Adams and with Helena Bonham Carter for "The King's Speech" and Jacki Weaver for "Animal Kingdom" (who's totally awesome, by the way) and Hallee Steinfeld for "True Grit".
Q: Hold it. Wasn't Hallee Steinfeld in essentially every scene in that movie?
A: Hey, she has a better chance winning in this category than she does for Best Actress.
Q: So you think Steinfeld will win?
A: Nope. I'm predicting......wait for it......Amy Adams! That's right, loyal readers! Mark it down! You read it here first! Amy Adams overcomes the Cancel-Each-Other-Out Factor with Leo to win and thereby give the most "painfully earnest" acceptance speech in Oscar history!
 |
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A: Fincher.
Q: But I didn't get a chance to-
A: Fincher.
Q: You're rooting for Aronofsky, though, so don't you think he might-
A: Fincher.
 |
| Your next winner for Best Picture? |
A: Myron Plotz, associate director at the National Backlash Center in Burbank, CA, predicts a significant wave of backlash post-nominations against "The Social Network" for "misreading new media" will propel "The King's Speech" to front-runner status before a wave of backlash against "The King's Speech" for choosing to portray Colin Firth's cinematic stutter solely as "a by-product of emotional abuse" allows "The Social Network" to surge back to the lead and hold off "The King's Speech" by a nose at the wire.
Q: But what about the fact that in real life Mark Zuckerberg did not create Facebook simply as a means to get girls? That he actually already had and continues to have the same girlfriend?
A: Did you know that the real life Karen Hill of "Goodfellas" had an affair with the Paul Sorvino character and that the Joe Pesci character tried to rape her?
Q: Well-
A: Did you know the real life Robert Gould Shaw of "Glory" at first declined the offer to command the 54th Massachusetts Infantry and that there wasn't actually a runaway slave named Trip in the outfit?
Q: Yeah, but-
A: Did you know that the Max Schreck of "Shadow Of The Vampire" who filmed "Nosferatu" in 1921 wasn't really a vampire? ......... Wait, why are you trying to unplug my keybo-Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2011/01/oscar-nomination-q.html
Visit extra vagance de plumes for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
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