Ride The Pale Horse

Swine Flu.

Are we all going to die or what? That's the mother- fucking question now that over a hundred cases have been found in New York City. In one school. Containment?? Is everything under control? Well, is the media hype under control? Should we be shitting in our pants right now or should we be turning off the television news and tossing newspapers into the trash? I remember SARS and Avian Flu and all of the rest of that shit. I mean...how many of you remember Legionaire's Disease?

My brother thinks that the first thousand will survive infection, then the next two million will drop like flies. I hope I'm one of the two million. I'm bored. I don't want to be around for the worldwide panic. I would like to pass away without a sound. Listening to the comforting beeps of my cardiac monitor, listening to the wheezing of my respirator, until they stop. Bye bye. I'll leave the end of the world scenario to the more adventurous. My brother thinks he's infected already...being homeless. I'm sitting across from him. But that would put us in the first thousand. I should move my fucking seat. I want to be in the two million.

What if I'm about to die? What if I'm going to call it quits? Worse, what if I'm part of the group that has built a natural immunity to the bastid disease. What then? Well if the world is coming to the end, I'm dying fucking. I'm going out the old fashioned way. With a hard on. Fuck crying in some dark corner. That's for wimps. I'm going out standing tall and naked with my johnson in my hand. Fuck dying while crying. That's not for me. I'd rather pass away quietly...but if that's denied me...well then, lets end life with a bang.

I sit in the bozo lounge today. Yeah, that's right. I made it to Dr. D's session, and I bitched about how I can't leave my room. That's right. I hate to leave my room. I hate to go outside for any reason whatsoever. I don't even move until my pantry and refrigerator are all out of food. All out. Completely. Then I'll leave to go shopping for something. I hate to leave and walk amongst my fellow man. I like it with the world outside. When the bomb drops on New York, I want to see the flash from my window, and then have the building rain down upon me, burying me under mountains of brick and mortar. Hell...I'm so close to ground zero, that I'll be a fucking ash in seconds. What a wonderful way to die.

Vaporized.

I hope I'm naked in my hot apartment at the time so that I can turn my bare ass to the flash. Kiss it Oppenheimer!!!

Fatalistic? Maybe I am. My brother is telling me all of these conspiracy theories and how there's these powerful people who are engineering this mess, and how we are just pawns in a game where the powerful are 'thinning the herd'. Earth's resources will not be able to sustain all of us, so before war becomes inevitable, test these antigens on us until we find one that spreads like wildfire. Then put a lethal viral payload on it and watch the fun.

Hey. I'm ready for the party, because if I survive long enough, after fucking animals and corpses, I'm going after the surviving rich. They'll have paid millions to make sure that they and their loved ones are inoculated against the viruses, only to find my rotted corpse rise from the ashes and hunt them down. I hope I can take bullets too, so that I can walk slowly upon them. I'd hate to rush the joy. I'd start with their dogs and cats. Shit...that shit would even freak me the fuck out. A half burned, half rotten ghoul eating your pets. I'd shit the shit out of myself! THEN, I'd go after my gun. BUT remember, I can take bullets, like to the head and everything. When they fall to their knees before me and beg and plead for their lives, I'll bite off their noses. Ha ha ha

Then I'd eat them, head first.

Why am I thinking this today?? I had my session, which I hated. Then I went to Starbucks to talk to my brother about surviving the oncoming storm. I don't think I want to survive it. I want to die, right in the beginning. I hate to postpone the inevitable.

Electra walks up to me while I'm knee deep in the gloom and doom. She wants to sell me hooch. I buy thirteen dollars of it from her. Her story...she got it from someone who she thinks stole it. A skek. Skeks steal everything. No doubt the issue. Why does she think I want the shit? I dunno. But I buy it anyway. My brother and I drink it up. Wine coolers, Kahlua Landslides...the works. We drink it down, until mashed. I love Electra.

My brother and I head to Grand Central Station. He's still talking about the end of the world. I just want a beautiful red head in a bikini. Life would be good if that was the case. Fuck everything else.

Let the world come to an end. Would we all really miss it??

Then again...I'm drunk as a sonuvabitch. Tomorrow I'll forget this entire post.

Keep your head up people.

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