Monday, March 2, 2009

Toads Don't Leap, They Jump


    Remember when I said earlier...

    that before 2009 was over, one of the 'Changes' in my life would be to have my books being sold at the New Years celebration. I was pissed off with myself when I said it, but I have a list of resolutions to handle this year, and like I've said before, IF I say that I'm going to do it, than bet on me doing it.

    The reason is not that I think I'm super- human or something, because you can clearly say: "Well Hobobob, order yourself out of a life of complete destitution. Do that." Oh boy, you don't understand. Most things, most resolutions, have one thing in common...the self. When it's we that is the object that needs to make change, we can accomplish it. Such as weight loss. That's just a WE thing. If WE stop putting food in our mouths WE CAN loose weight. But when your object of change involves some other person or agency, your chances are higher that you will fail. Such as making a resolution that we'll change our husband/wife, or that we'll fuck Pamela the hot waitress.

    And if the Resolution is reasonable. Which means, if it's within your means to succeed, then you can boast and say that IF I say that I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it. Hobobob...Why the FUCK are we having this conversation?

    Well, like I was saying earlier about selling these books at the News Years Eve Cele- bration, I made it a resolution to. But now the question rises: How can you sell books when you don't even have books? Well Sherman, lets set the WABAC (Pronounced 'Way Back') machine to about a year ago. I kept bumping into people with books who were getting them published through traditional publishers. Where they had to come up with vast sums (to a hobo, a $1,000 is a vast sum) of money to have scores of their books printed out. It's this 'inventory' in their house that they are pushing to sell. How is a Hobo to fucking do that??

    But, I bumped into a few people who self published their work through an online Vanity Press called Blurb. Hmmmm, Blurb was intriguing to say the least. I kept putting it off, and putting it off, until one day when I had nothing to do I surfed over it by accident, and stopped to download it's book making software called Booksmart. When using it I found it unresponsive, clunky and very slow. Really, a fucking mess to work with. I hope they upgrade it to a leaner, meaner program in the years to come. However, I found it easy to learn and very friendly with other programs and blogsites. Take SLURP for instance. With SLURP, you can suck up your entire blog right into a motherfucking book with the press of a button. Also, for those of you who use Microsoft Word to write their 'great American novel'. You can also suck up your entire file with the press of a button and Booksmart with lay it out for you chapter by chapter. Then you can go behind it and tweak it.

    Now not to become a spokesman for Booksmart or Blurb, but I just created two books of my poetry using old photo- graphs that I made when homeless and shooting on the naked streets of the city, and my written work in Microsoft Word. Still you can create as many books as you want, they are not 'Published' until you upload them to the Blurb servers on the Internet. Why? Because that's where the real life shit happens. That's where they print your shit. You can have multiple copies printed or just one. It doesn't matter the number. Shit, I had to try that.

    I had one book sent to me first, just to see how the shit comes out. When it got it, I was amazed at it's quality. I was shocked. I was holding a book in my hand that I had created...directly. I was one step closer to fulfilling another resolution. MotherFudruckers!! Then, I noticed that you can put your book online and that people can surf to it and purchase a copy themselves...but only if you want that to happen. You can keep your book as personal as your sexual preference. It don't matter. What does matter is that you don't need to have this 'inventory' of books in your house to have quality books printed out on demand.

    Yes, I am ahead of this game. The first book: A MIND GONE TO WASTE is filled with poems that are very pedestrian. These poems are my first forays into the art of writing poetry, and I find them weak and undisciplined. They are nothing like my more leaner, tighter work today. My work has evolved far from this book, but it is a book of my work that I had accomplished. That I had labored over while I was on the streets, Hence the subtitle: The Outdoor Poems, and some parts are good. It was worth being printed just as much as any of my work today.

    The next book: AND GOD BLEW BREATH is just a small step up from MIND. This one is filled with my performance art also, so it doesn't really read like poetry in some parts. This one has not evolved as far as my current work, but it still deserved to be published as much as the first. It is called the Incision poems largely because it deals with the pains of my losing my past life, and wife, and being turned out onto the streets. Now I'm hard at work on a third book to come out as soon as I find more of my homeless photos to put on it. Now that I'm building some skill in using BookSmart I'm getting pickier about the photos from my archives that I use to put on the books.

    So now I have two books of mine out there. Oh, but wait, there's more. There was a public button to make you books public, so I did that, just for shits and giggles. But I found another button that links the books to your Facebook profile. Awwright, I pressed it. It instantly put the books up on my Facebook profile. Son of a bitch!! Can you believe that shit?? And then I forgot about the damn things because I detest Facebook. Don't ask me the name of my profile because it has my real name, and please, any of you that know my real name, I ask that you don't divulge that small secret. I don't use that name any longer, unless I have to. I'm still Hobobob and are not ready to release that yet. I'll know when.

    Well, let's coast this story a few days but less than a week ahead. I get an email from a friend of mine, who sold one of my books to another friend. WHAT?? I'm sold already?? I thought that shit would never happen, but yep, I'm not only an Author, but I have sold one. Damn, you don't know how proud I feel. I feel like a happy Hobo.

    "Are you going to put a link up on your blogsite?" I thought about it and I believe that I don't think so. Or for right now. I want this blog to be about me. My thought's my pain, my worries, my troubles. I don't put much of my poetry on it for that reason. To have two books of poetry on the right side of the essay of my life...well I don't know just yet. Let me think before I make any real decision. Until then, you can find the books on Blurb by searching Cupgrease. Once there, look for Hobobob. You'll have to hopscotch back and forth for the two books...you'll know what I mean when you get there.

    Well, in any event, I'm a published author. Took a long time to get here, but I'm here. Next step is at the turn of the New Year, when I'll be selling these books at the New Year's Celebration for poets. Now I have two books two sell at least.

    For a Hobo...that feels pretty good.

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