Bouncing the Soul Elastic

Watch who you bitch about right?

It was a slow Sunday at first. I got up at 4:00AM and got online with my cup of coffee, and stayed up until 9:00AM before getting tired and crawling back into bed. I again got up around 10:00AM and got back online, cleaned up the room a little, straightened things, did some domestic things around the room....

And then the gospel station comes on.

I mean ON, as if I turned on the radio right in my room. Not all distorted from being blasted at you, but normal, as if the radio itself was in the room with you. Whoever was listening to it, the natural acoustics of the alleyway carried it down and around evenly. It was everywhere. It was like being trapped in a room full of Jesus Freaks. They were preaching and singing and reading and doing all of that good Sunday stuff, and it dawned on me, this was some asshole's way of proselytizing on a Sunday morning. It just wasn't enough to swallow god whole, now you had to shove him down someone else's throat.

Hey, I don't have a problem with Jesus Freaks. I really don't. I think that everyone should have a right to worship the way that they want to. But this is drawing a line somewhere isn't it? Turning on your radio full blast to pump it out over the complex and then walk off to head out to church yourself?? Because there just can't be any way for someone to stay in that apartment and listen to themselves think while this racket was going on.

NO, they headed out for the day and left the rest of the building to find god.

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I put on my trusty headsets and that was the end of Jesus. Sorry JC, nothing against you, I just find it distasteful when someone else decides how I'm going to enjoy my Sunday. I surf in peace, going from here to there, downloading this and that, doing my thing, with one problem. The cupboards and the refrigerator. Now that I have them stocked with food, I can't help but think about what's in them. I jump up and go into the refrigerator for a yogurt, followed by a snack bar, then a dinner, followed by a salad and assorted cheeses. I CAN'T STOP WITH THE FUCKING EATING.

I'm watching my caloric count go from green to red and I can't find a brake for this runaway train. My body is searching for something and it's not finding it. Maybe it's searching to put back on the pounds that I have already shed? Whatever the case, I can't stop getting up and going to the kitchen, or the kitchen area to be exact. FUCK! I sit down and absorb myself with writing poetry. This keeps me busy all the time, but the creative well can only bring up but so much water. Soon, my eye begins to wander to the kitchen area.

So then I go to Facebook, which is the Antichrist. I fuck with this thing trying to get it to change my damn name and it will not. It will not give me the name that I want on my stupid Facebook page. I feel like deleting my profile, and I'm so damn close to doing it. What kind of bullshit is that, that you can't make up names? Sometimes a pseudonym is more known than the fucking name of the person themselves. Take me for instance.

But no. I can't change my name, so what do I do? Go back to the kitchen and make lunch, and lunch, mind you, does not end. Swedish Meatballs, Oatmeal, Macaroni and Cheese, rice pudding. Tons of rice pudding.

A little aside about rice pudding. When the gods made man and placed him down on the Earth, he have man the rice plant. And the first man planted rice paddies across the trackless spans of the earth, and since there were no animals to feed or feed from, and no women to do things for, he made rice pudding. Lots and lots of rice pudding. And he found himself eating rice pudding without getting tired, for one huge meal, because there was no breakfast, lunch and dinner. Just rice pudding. And one day, the gods, watching man, lowered a huge bowl from the heavens and said in a commanding voice to the man: "Yo dude, bust us a bowl for your buds!"

And man, in his great love for his own creation, and his overwhelming greed, said: "No."

The gods took the holy bowl back to heaven and created animals that shat in the rice paddies and ate up the rice and other vegetation grew and choked off the rice farms and finally, the gods made woman to henpeck the man and in the process, rule the world. And that is how we lost the PLANET OF EDEN my friends. All because of the first man's love for rice pudding.

I think up shit like this as I eat my face in and surf the web.

The Jesus Freaks are still blasting their radio.
Its evening.
I think I'm going to get a Special K bar...it only has 90 calories.

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