Okay, Pain in the Ass

He's up again.

Early like me. Today he rises around six O'clock. I've been up since Four. You know, working on this novel and stuff, and I'm coming up with good ideas. And then there is a fucking fight breaking out in the room next door. Or somebody is moving shit that too big for them to lift. There is a throbbing and a banging and a bumping against the wall, every time he gets up, the minute he gets up. I see him donning his pants or pajamas and falling against the walls of the room trying to put them on. He's annoying. Such a silly old man. The only reason why I like him so much is that he can get high as a kite on something. He'll walk down the hall and not even see you.

One time we're in the elevator together and he looks up at me with NOTHING behind his eyes and says, "Alright, goodnight". Goodnight, dude I live right fucking next to you! Well he's up today moving shit, pounding away on the walls of his room. But that's alright, I've got the headsets to my MP3 Player to put in my computer and listen to music up close and personal, blocking out the fucking world.

I'm happy to be cruising. Today I'm going to my High School to get that damned diploma. So I work on this Novel until a quarter to Twelve and get up for my shower (as the guys in the men's shelter would say, My Chower) and I decide to take with me a gift that Electra gave me. A loofah set. Much of it with wooden handles for those hard to reach places on your body, but each having a loofah sponge at the end of it.

Well, there's one thing that I can say about a loofah. The motherfucker is hard as barbed wire and no amount of water is going to make it any softer. None. So I'm Chowering, getting into the tingling feeling of the sponge and when done, the nice tingling feeling turns into pain. DAMN, I say to myself. I damn near scrubbed the black off my ass! I get ready to go, with this painful tingly feeling and sit down at my computer to turn it off and one of my friends pops up on IM, it's BB and she tells me to wait. Okay, what now. I'm about ready to tell her that I have to go when she tells me that she read in my blog that I was going to go to my High School today. Well DON'T, because today was YOM KIPPUR. I sit back into my seat. Well, I'll be damned, she's right. I check online, and my high school web site is as helpful as...well you know it, my dick on LUVOX, but the city's web site is much more helpful, with a calendar stating the days that schools are closed in New York.

Fuck me. I would have toted my ass all the way out there to come up staring at a closed building. Ha ha ha ha. I thank BB profusely for getting to me. She could have let me go to enjoy my madcap adventures, but she didn't. Thank you BB. So I prepare my hands for some work. Yep, I'm preparing for the Olympics. I'm going to work on that Novel like it was the last thing on Earth. Close my eyes and live somewhere else for a change. No longer in my body, no longer in my room, but now roaming the stars with the Carlyle brothers. Zooming through the galaxy to save it from those who would want to rule all of it.

I work until two in the morning, getting to page 817. Damn! I got through to that number in less than two or three weeks, right? And the story is still going....

There is a tap on my door. It didn't sound like it was mine at first until it turned into light knocking, and then hard, insistent knocking. I slip on my tee-shirt and wait, just in case these guys have some keys to my room, but I don't move to answer the door. Well, why not? Because I don't like un-invited guests. Guests who just drop in on you and derail your train of thought. But you have to wonder, what the fuck goes through someone's mind to knock on someone's door at 12:30 midnight unannounced? Just tell me. A list of names comes up in my head, then they are trimmed down to a list of possibilities, and then I come down to just one who it probably was. No Friend Igor. Igor, who for some reason or another thinks that I'm the most bestest friend in the world to have.

Hey, Igor...I'M A SHUT IN! That means that I won't be knocking on your door to go to the movies. I won't hang around in your room watching TV, and you won't be in mine, listening to music and smoking dope. It's just not going to happen no matter how insistent you are to make it happen. It's just not. I'm not that much of a people person. I have a very short list of friends and I would like to keep it that way. I'm not too keen on people with a huge number of people following them around as if they were all on Twitter or something.

My ass hole itches. I'm back to working on my novel and there is an itch up my asshole. So the next time I go to take a piss, I wipe it again, scratching it in fact. Working on my super ass hard chair all day long, my itch turns into pain. A lump is forming right on the crack of my ass. Awww Man! I need this shit now? I'm going to ignore it because, frankly, there is nothing that I can do about it. Nothing. I crawl into bed, ready for visions of sugar plums.

I will wake up dreaming of bees. Go figure.

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