Tuesday, December 23, 2008

UbiqWIFI


    My doorbell rings.

    I roll over. It feels as if I just got into bed. There is a knock on my door. I look up at the clock on the microwave. It is 1:30 in the morning. 1:30 in the morning. What the fuck?? I DID JUST GET INTO BED!! I sit up and try to put on my pants in the dark but don't do a good job. "Hello?" Comes from the other side of the door. I get my pants on my ass. Who in the Hell? I open the door, not even going to the peep hole first, which is stupid of me, but that's just how irate I was. I snatch open the door to find Igor standing on the other side. "Oh, hey...I ...I just want to tell you that I bought you a bottle of wine." Igor, do you know what time it is? It's 1:30 in the morning. "But I wanted to tell you that I have a bottle of wine for you. Do you want me to go and get it now??" Look Igor, I really don't care what it is that you have at 1:30 in the morning. I was sleeping."I'm sorry, I just...." I closed my door. What the Hell is going on in that boy's fucking brain?

    I mean it. What the fuck is wrong with a man that goes around ringing people's doorbell at 1:30 in the morning? He must need a friend really bad to have to come around and fuck with me at all hours of the night. In fact, for some reason, he has convinced himself that he IS my friend. I just met him at The Box and although we stayed up late at night, working on our laptops, I would hardly call him my best friend. The one thing that I did think odd about Igor was his ability to try to buy friendship. He would give you money, and then complain that he had given it to you behind your back. What kind of shit is that I ask you?

    From that day on he has been marked in my book. Not in a bad way, mind you. More like in a cautious way. His friendship comes with a price, and an obligation. I'll just be good and steer clear of this guy.

    With that in mind, I crawl back into my bed, jump under the covers and close my eyes, drifting back to sleep. I wake up four hours later and do my sit ups and push ups. I'm getting to where it isn't a problem for me to get to work on these exercises first thing in the morning. I am amazed with myself. I go to the 'crip' bathroom next to my apartment and take a shower. Today I open a gift that someone gave me. A LOOFA sponge. It looks more like fat brown piece of steel wool. I touch it. It's very rigid. Probably the water of the shower will soften it. It's a sponge right? WRONG. It's a human torture device. It's like rubbing a cinderblock on your skin. No matter how much water I used, nothing would soften this motherfucker. Why in the Hell do they call it a sponge? And then, I had to hit the hot spots. Good god! That shit was painful. But I didn't take a washcloth to the shower with me 'natch, so I was stuck using this torture tool on my ass and nuts.

    When I stepped out of the shower I felt as if I was flayed alive. I dressed gingerly. If there was a layer of dirt on my skin, it was gone now. As well as an inch of epidermis. I put the LOOFA back into its package with the rest of the stuff I got as a gift and put it away in one of my cabinets...far away. I packed my gear quickly after that, even getting a chance to make up my bed and wash my dishes from last night. By 6:15am I was downstairs in Starbucks.

    Stepping outside, I was hit by a blast of cold as if Jack Frost punched me right in the fucking face. My hat slumped behind my head, my hoodie turned into a wind scoop, ballooning open, frost built up on my eyeglasses. Shhiiid.

    I hurried up and got my ass into Starbucks and GOT OUT of my jackets which were smoldering with the cold. I got a hot cup of brew, not seeing the Oompa Loompas but instead a pair of Barristas who served me promptly. Not much on the hello thing, with a Merry Christmas planted on, but still good. Better than an Oompa Loompa.

    I surfed and blogged and researched my wireless router. I was torn between a Belkin and a Linksys. I researched their specs and found them somewhat similar. Now here was the thing, I was expecting a price point of around $185.00. I was expecting this. But doing my reasearch, I found the price point more around $80.00. Damn, that was good.

    The specs on the Belkin were too close to the Linksys. I used Belkin networking hardware before and found them lacking in my experience. I chose Linksys. At lunchtime I rushed to Circuit City and found not one but THREE Wireless Network routers from the same brand, just different flavors. Shit, more research. The high end one was $170.00 price points. The low end as $60.00. But what speed was it that I needed. I passed on the choices and then went to Best Buy, finding the exact same price points.

    Now I had to figure out which one that I wanted. I took this to Madison Starbucks and downloaded white papers on the routers, system specs, and performance data. All in all, I wanted the midrange router. It was broadband, and it had the power to fill the building with a WIFI signal. Yep, that's exactly what I want to do. I want to stick it to 'em. I want to put out a clean WIFI signal, not only for me, but for everyone in the router radius.

    I have ample firewalling protection, so I'm going to let it all hang out and provide free Internet access to everyone in the building. Of course I'm going to monitor it closely so that my throughput isn't hurt, but I'm going to show all of these stingy motherfuckers just what a charitable person can do. I hope that one day their network goes down when they need it the most, and they find mine and use it, and see how stingy they were. Thus winning them over to UbiqWIFI or Ubiquitous WIFI, which is the goal of free Internet information advocates the cities over. If everyone turned up their WIFI signals, just think how great a world this would be?

    Although the rich would have to feed the poor so to speak. The 'haves' helping the 'have nots'. And where in the fuck do you see that happening?

    Look around you. Where do you see that happening?

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