Times Two and a Half

I got up in the morning and was faced with a quandary.

When I booted up there was no WIFI in my room. Now what to do. You know that I have to get online every day, the earlier the better. So what was my story now? Sit in the apartment and work offline, or throw some clothes on and head downstairs to Starbucks where it's all cold and crowded.

C'mon, didja haveta gess? I put some mother- fucking clothes on and went downstairs to Starbucks ...where I get online and send and receive emails. I've scheduled an interview at ABC No Rio on Sunday and I ironed that out in email. I had that to do. It was somewhat strange though. There were just too many cooks over the pot. What should have been a simple yes or no from the host turned into a long distance phone call and a flurry of emails to other people. More work than necessary.

That's when I notice something. What the Hell happened to the heat? Yeah, all of a sudden it got cold in the Starbucks. Real cold. I know that there are these three large bay windows on one side, and a glass doorway and windbreak so very little separates us from the cold on the other side. I know this, but still, where did the heat go? Did they just turn that shit off to conserve energy, or had they felt that there were enough breathers inside to heat things up through respiration alone? Whatever the case, I was starting to get cold.

So I decided to wrap it up. It was time to head out and get my router.

I take a nap first... because I'm tired. And then, fully charged, out I go to Circuit City. I find my routers. The three flavors. The top of the line I dismiss as being more for the small business. The middle of the line is excellent, but I can't find those. The bottom of the line falls right into my price points at around $80.00. A salesperson comes up to me. "Can I help you with anything?" Yeah, bub. Where are the midrange routers? "Right around the corner here," he leads me right around the corner where the midrange routers are stacked up. Duh! And on top of that, they are on sale. They cost the same price as the bottom of the line router...$80.00. Well, who made this error?? I switch boxes and run to the cash register, knowing full well that this same router goes for $127.00 price points at Best Buy from yesterday.

Is this price correct, I ask the counter guy? He scans it and says that it is. I can't tell you how fast I paid down on that sonuva- bitch. I was walking out of Circuit City skipping like a ten year old with an icecream. I head straight to the library and dig in, taking out the little device and holding it in my hands. It's ever so small, just about the size of both palms.

Step one baby. Now step two is to get Roadrunner cable into the building to connect my circuit, and then FUCK Starbucks at the crack of dawn. Further, there are going to be a lot of happy campers in the building when I fire this high speed, high range jobby up and kick some amplitude. The rest of those stingy skinflints can kiss everyone else's ass. I fight for my unfortunate fellowman!

Oh so what, some are you are saying that some shifty bastard will be freeloading and not buying his own Internet, or canceling his Internet service in lieu of using mine for free. I don't believe in the concept of freeloading, just need. If there are those that could use the service let them, and fuck the few that abuse it. Maybe god will rectify things and give them hemorrhoids, or the gout.

ahhh ha ha ha!!

Happy Holidays.

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