APRIL's Bandit Agenda is NO JOKE!

by April blog mommy: Suz

It's April 1st.

The special day for all those people who are practical jokers to stand up and do their thing. Over the years I've been the recipient of a lot of those kinds of jokes from enthusiastic, but definitely demented coworkers.

Sigh.

I am not a big fan of practical jokes. Actually, I loathe them!! So, luckily for y'all, you can believe me when I tell you you're in for a great month of good-natured fun, laughter and debut books with the Banditas in the Bandit Lair! Trust me! Really, trust me!




Friday, April 2: Up first, Kay Thomas www.kaythomas.net returns to the Lair in an interview with Suz about the third book in her Bulletproof series: BULLETPROOF BODYGUARD, which is also a Harlequin Intrigue Bodyguard of the Month release.








Monday, April 5: IT'S PARTY TIME in the Lair as Bandita, Christy Kelley celebrates the release of her newest book, SOMETHING SCANDALOUS. Be sure to join the Banditas, Sven, the gladiators, cabana boys and hockey hunks as we show how to have a good time!!







Wednesday, April 7: Lair favorite Barbara Monajem chats with Bandita, Nancy about her debut paranormal, Sunrise in a Garden of Love and Evil.







Thursday, April 8: RITA nominee Jessica Andersen returns to the Lair with Demonkeepers, the newest installment in her dynamite Nightkeepers series. We'll chat about the transformation of its hero, Lucius, from a quiet scholar working in the background to a man of action on the front lines.







On Saturday, April 10: Anna Campbell www.annacampbell.info is giving away an ARC of her June release MY RECKLESS SURRENDER. Come and play some reckless games and hey, you might win a book!






Monday, April 12: women's fiction author Kim Wright makes her first appearance in the lair with her debut women's fiction novel Love in Mid Air. A chance encounter on an airplane leads her heroine, Elyse, to question her marriage and her life. Kim will chat with Nancy about that.








On Friday, April 16: one of our favorites in the lair, Annie West www.annie-west.com is back! She’s talking about her new release FORGOTTEN MISTRESS, SECRET LOVE-CHILD and giving away some books! Come and join in the fun!





Monday, April 19: Laura Anne Gilman returns to the world of the Cosa Nostradamus with Hard Magic from Luna. She'll visit us on April 19 to talk about this latest book set in the world of her Retrievers series.






Wednesday, April 21: One of my favorite authors, romantic suspense author, Dee Davis returns with Dark Deception, the action-packed first book in her new series.








On Thursday, April 29: historical author Margo Maguire www.margomaguire is back to talk about her new release THE ROGUE PRINCE. Giveaways!






APRIL CONTESTS:

Anna Campbell's latest contest offers one lucky reader the chance to win an ARC of MY RECKLESS SURRENDER, her June 2010 release. All you have to do is email Anna on anna@annacampbell.info and answer a simple question. In the excerpt on the Books Page (http://www.annacampbell.info/recklesssurrender.html )for MY RECKLESS SURRENDER, Diana the heroine quotes an old proverb to the hero Lord Ashcroft. What is that proverb? Here's a hint -- it's for the birds! Good luck! The contest closes April 30, 2010.

Nancy Northcott's website has a new look, complete with excerpts and updated graphics. Stop by www.nancynorthcott.com, take a look, and enter the contest she's holding to celebrate. Details on the site.Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Eddie Griffin State Theatre Tickets

Edward James "Eddie" Griffin, Jr. will be performing at the State Theatre in Minneapolis this Saturday at 8:30pm. Eddie was ranked at #62 on Comedy Central's list of 100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time and has starred in numerous films and television shows. Ticket King currently has some great Eddie Griffin State Theatre tickets for sale starting at just $55 each. If you would like to see one of America's top comedians for a very affordable price, get your tickets now before they're gone- Eddie doesn't come here too often!
Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Espresso maker print

Sandra Juto's new coffeemaker print would look nice in a kitchen.Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Inexpensive Twins Exhibition Game Tickets

Great news Twins fans!! My boss just advised me that he recently lowered prices on our entire stock of Minnesota Twins exhibition game tickets! If you haven't purchased yours yet, now is your chance to get an excellent deal on them! With prices starting at just $40 per ticket and various locations to choose from, you're guaranteed to find something you like. The very first exhibition game is in just two days on Friday, April 2nd at 5:10pm and the second is the following Saturday, April 3rd at 1:10pm. Get them now while you can! GO TWINS!!Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Baby profiles

German photographer Bettina von Zwehl took this photo series of one-year-old babies at an instant of total (rare) concentration. Aren't they gorgeous? Von Zwehl used toys, dvds and eye contact to get the little guys to stay still. "They sat on a table, looking at me, and I took the picture with a long cable release," she says. Since many of the babes were still too wriggly to photograph, it took more than a year to get six final portraits. And the goal of the project? "I was hoping to present each baby as an intelligent human being," she says.


P.S. Baby mouths are so adorable.
Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Thanks For Taking My Advice!

A little over a year ago on this very blog in my typical restrained and understated fashion I reasonably and calmly called for Hollywood to take one of the most infamous unproduced screenplays - "F--- Buddies" - gallivanting about their town and put it into production with the incomparable Billy Crudup and the magnificent Amy Ryan as the leads.

Hollywood listened! Well, sort of.

They have put the unproduced screenplay - authored by Liz Meriweather - into production, renamed it "Friends With Benefits" (a given), tapped (gulp) Ivan "This Movie Could Really Use Some Pirates" Reitman as director, and cast Natalie Portman and (double gulp) Ashton Kutcher.

You suck, Hollywood.Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Bon Jovi Xcel Energy Center Tickets

Bon Jovi will be in Saint Paul in exactly a week from today for his first of two shows at the Xcel Energy Center. Wednesday, April 7th and Thursday, April 8th, Bon Jovi will perform a show each night at 7:30pm. If you haven't had a chance to see him live before, now you can get a GREAT deal on Bon Jovi Xcel Energy Center tickets! Ticket King has tickets BELOW face value, starting at just $40 each for upper level seats. If you haven't purchased your tickets yet you'd better buy them now before they're gone! Deals like this don't last long!Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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I'm Somebody!

by Susan Sey

Remember that scene in The Jerk when Steve Martin finds his name in the phone book for the first time? He's overjoyed. That's him, right there in print. It's official! He's somebody! Yahoo!

I had a moment like that this morning.

You see, I've been working on it for ages but I finally launched my very first website. And now, when you type in http://www.susansey.com I turn up. Officially. That's my name, my face and my book cover right there!

I'm somebody!

Now before anybody asks, I didn't do it myself. I considered it, then realized how very attached I am to my sanity and made the excellent decision to outsource this job to professionals. I'm a big fan of all things locally grown, though, so I didn't go very far when seeking out talented people to put together something that would represent me and my writing in cyberspace.

First, I tapped my friend Noah from church. Like me, he stays home with his daughter (whom my daughters happen to adore.) Also like me, he's doing a little something with all that 'spare time' stay at homes have in such abundance. (Careful, that's a lot of sarcasm there.)

He doesn't write romance novels (though I've recommended it as loads of fun) but instead has chosen to build a little company called AugmentJ that designs and hosts websites. But he doesn't just design websites. No, either his child is better behaved than mine are or he's just smarter than I am because he's also developed his own Content Management System called Fruitful.

Now, like many of you, when I thought about building my own website, I toyed with the idea of doing something in Wordpress. I decided to go with Fruitful instead for a couple of reasons.

First, Fruitful allows me to get into the nuts and bolts of my webpages and update things whenever I feel like it. I don't have to wait for my web designer to do a monthly update for me, but (very big but here) I don't have to be a programmer to figure it all out, either.

I hear that Wordpress is user friendly after a fashion but after a bunch of comparison shopping, Fruitful won out. It struck me as far more intuitive, & that's important to me. I can't horse around figuring out a website because I'm a terribly slow writer. I need to devote all the time I can get to my WIP.

Second advantage of Fruitful? Noah taught me how to use it in person. I came to his house after school one day and our kids had a wild rumpus in his living room while he gave me the run down on updating my site. A software lesson AND entertainment for the kiddoes? I defy you to find a web guy who'll do that for you.

And whenever I have a question about why something works or doesn't work, I know I'm going to get an answer ASAP. Because if Noah doesn't get back to me, I'll see him at church on Sunday. On the other hand, if I fail to send him a check promptly, he'll see me on Sunday, too. It works both ways & I like it that way. I know exactly who I'm paying to do this for me--somebody just like me. A person with a passion for what he does, splitting the difference between pursuing that passion and being at home with the little ones.

It works for me, and I'm thrilled with the results.

The other awesome thing Noah did for me? Pointed me toward the designer who put together my banner, my colors, created my logo, etc. I sat down with this poor woman (the very talented Sarah Hellestrom Hoehn, also right here in Minneapolis) over coffee & said, "I'm rotten at colors, so I'm just going to tell you how I feel about my writing & what I want people to feel when they're reading my books. Can you translate that into color and design?"

She said she could, and she did. Did she ever. I was thrilled and amazed at what she was able to pull out of my unfocused and largely incoherent thoughts on my work. If you're looking for a designer, I'd recommend her without reservation. I'll be happy to share her info privately if anybody wants it.

But there are drawbacks. I'm Noah's first writer client, so we're learning together how Fruitful lends itself to a writer's unique needs. There are a few things that need tweaking. For example, I don't have the capacity to allow comments on my blog right now. That communication will be a one-way street for a while but I'm okay with that. Readers will hopefully want to interact with me at some point in the future, and when the time comes I'll work with Noah to develop something that'll fit the bill.

Until then, I'll make do with Fruitful's awesome ability to create gorgeous e-newsletters, run contests and collect user info in a little database that'll come in right handy when I decide to mail out postcards for my first book signing. :-)

Having a website designed was a big decision. Besides being the biggest writing related expense I've encountered aside from attending RWA's annual conference, a website is probably also the most important link between a new author and her potential audience. I really wanted to get it right, and have been so glad that keeping things close to home worked out.

How about you? Do you have a website? A DIY job, or outsourced? Any lessons learned you'd be willing to share? Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Justin Bieber Oracle Arena Tickets

Hey Justin Bieber fans!! If you live near the Oakland area, you'll appreciate this. The one-and-only Justin Bieber will be performing at Oracle Arena in Oakland, California on Saturday, July 17th at 7 pm. If you haven't bought your Justin Bieber tickets for this show yet, Ticket King has some awesome lower level seats left but they're going quick! If you'd like to attend, I'd recommend getting yours now before they're gone! I know this show will sell out!Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Fig wedding cake

I'm one of the few people out there who don't like regular cake (are you, too?), so I'm always secretly psyched when people serve alternative desserts at their weddings. Brooklyn couple Rae and Noah served a carrot cake with fresh figs! What a cool (and beautiful) idea, don't you think?

See more of their wedding here.Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Nursery inspiration photos

These days, nurseries are looking so amazing! I've been flagging inspirational images, such as the nursery of J. Crew creative director Jenna Lyon's baby, above. Aren't the yellow stripes amazing, and who would think to paint a nursery wall black? (Classic crib from Oeuf; and orange Junior Panton chair from DWR.)
A polaroid heart from a grown-up bedroom in Paris...
And sweet details, like the knit blocks in the fireplace, love pillow and teeny yellow boots!
The giant giraffe is amazing, but my eye was immediately drawn to those red frames. What a great way to showcase artwork.
Decorating with maps = inexpensive and inspiring.
This photo is from Moomah's playspace. The white frames mimic a gallery wall, and that friendly bear print is totally amazing. (Does anyone know where to find it? Update: The Moomah bear print is by Jacqueline Schmidt of Screech Owl Design. Thank you, Sarah!)
The shades of blue in this room are lovely and calming, and the Tord Boontje hanging lamp looks magical. What nursery colors or special touches do you like? I'd love to hear... xoxo

(Photos from Domino Magazine, Cookie Magazine, Living Etc., Moomah, and others)Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Three Days Grace Tickets Roy Wilkins Auditorium

Join Adam Gontier, Barry Stock, Brad Walst & Neil Sanderson from Three Days Grace at 7pm tonight at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium in Saint Paul. Ticket King currently has some great deals on Three Days Grace Roy Wilkins Auditorium tickets! Our general admission tickets are BELOW face value at only $47 each or we have upper level tickets starting at just $55. Get yours now before they're gone! Deals this great don't last long!Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Trouble the Water

I used to make gleeful fun of those moments in disaster movies when the hero's faithful, panting dog would appear to be right at death's door - swallowed by a ball of flames, burned alive in lava, etc. - only to escape at the last possible second. Never again. The reason? There is a moment in the astounding, almost impossible-to-watch documentary "Trouble the Water" when our primary subjects, Kimberly and Scott Roberts, have returned to the destroyed ghost town of the New Orleans Ninth Ward that is their home in the wake of Hurricane Katrina and the faithful, panting dog we had seen earlier, whom they had presumed dead, turns up. Woah.

With the powerful Katrina taking aim at New Orleans, Kimberly Roberts fired up a small video camera and took to the streets of her neighborhood, documenting the calm before the storm and how next to no one in the Ninth Ward was able to get out because, as Roberts herself says, evacuation is "luxury we can't afford." The filmmakers, Tia Lessin and Carl Deal, who had originally come to make a documentary about the Louisiana National Guard just back from Iraq to find the devastation, whom Roberts would encounter afterwards and who agreed to take a look at her footage before joining forces to frame Roberts' amateur footage with footage you have probably seen before - like that of New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin advising he hopes everyone leaves the city, while a screen title tells us no efforts were made to use public transit for those with no means to evacuate.

Much of Roberts' storm footage is rather simple but that simpleness gives it a directness that most of the more artful takes on this awful subject have been unable to capture. The wind picks up. The rain starts to fall. She sends a friend home with a few groceries, his umbrella offering protection in the early snippets of what will soon transform into a 165 mph gale. Homes flood. The Roberts family moves to its attic. Outside begins to resemble the "ocean". In one of the more difficult-to-digest passages flood ravaged footage is countered by 911 calls from stranded residents told no rescues can me made at this time. My God, listening to a person plead "I'm gonna die....hello?" followed by a 911 Operator flatly saying "Yeah?" as if discussing a credit card late charge is disturbing in a way that should not, at any time or in any place, apply to real life.

The inevitable moments crop up - shots of former President George W. Bush "reassuring" the American people and the lily-livered Michael Brown squinting into the camera as if news reporters are speaking to him in Icelandic and the brief tale of a Navy base set to be closed down that refuses to allow now homeless citizens in because they have to "protect the government's interests" or some such nonsense. But these are not the places where Lessin and Deal dwell. "Trouble the Water" is not a political story, it is a story of survival, which makes it ten times more powerful.

And through it all Roberts cuts a decidedly heroic, ordinary, and occassionally outlandish heroine who for all the biblical abonimations she faces seems so wonderfully and defiantly joyous. After the hurricane she and her husband encounter an addict who had been living in a church-run shelter and invite him along for help and friendship. They are evacuated north and then try to find new lives in Memphis before returning to New Orleans because despite the devastation it is still their home. Oh, and she's a rapper to boot. Did I mention that? In the scene that apparently brought the house down at Sundance Roberts raps directly into the camera - "You don't have to tell me I'm amazing" - a song she wrote that somehow would seem to summarize how most of the community felt after the levees failed. No, it's not quite Chuck D. and "Welcome to the Terrordome" but maybe that's okay because the world isn't always just about terror and/or wars on it.

Stephen Colbert ain't America. Kimberly Roberts is.Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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A little love note.

Have you told bedtime stories lately? Pregnancy has made me super sleepy, and I've been conking out really early. So a little tradition has started, where Alex will put me to bed. After I brush my teeth, he'll say, “Ready for bed, baby?” and then come into the bedroom, lie down next to me (and my maternity pillow) and tell me funny stories about his childhood, early days in New York or old friends. I don't know how he comes up with them all (every single night!), but it's so cozy falling asleep listening to his deep voice and trying to stay awake to hear the ending. I love you, Alex.

(Photo by Max Wanger)Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Tandem tee

This tandem T-shirt is cute (and true). I'm too pale and British to wear red, but someone should get this. :)Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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A Delicious Dilemma

posted by Nancy

Lisa Shearin returns to the Lair to share her heroine's current dilemma with us. Those of you who've read Raine Benares' adventures know Raine is involved with two hunky guys, goblin duke Tam and paladin mage Mychael. Those of you who haven't yet made their acquaintance are in for a new treat.

We're going to do something a little different today, but I'll let Lisa explain. Welcome, Lisa! Tell us what you have planned.

My fourth Raine Benares adventure--Bewitched & Betrayed--will hit bookstore shelves on Tuesday, April 27. Here’s a teaser from the book’s back cover: “My name is Raine Benares. I’m a seeker. I find lost things and missing people – usually alive. Finding the specters of six evil sorcerers who escaped the Saghred, a soul-stealing stone of unlimited power, was easy. Stopping them before they unleash Hell of earth just may be the death of me.”

Once again, Raine is up to her pointy elven ears in trouble of the worst kind. But our girl also finds her way into trouble of the steamy kind with Mychael Eiliesor, the elven paladin and commander of the Conclave Guardians, as well as Tamnais Nathrach, goblin duke and former chief mage to the goblin queen.

To give you a taste of Raine’s romantic quandary, I’ve brought along two snippets from Bewitched & Betrayed with Raine and the two the men in her life.
And naturally, I wouldn’t come to visit the Banditas without prizes.

Read the snippets below and make your choice.Who should Raine choose and why (or heck, which guy would you choose and why)? Post the answer in a comment on today’s post and you’ll be entered to win. Two commenters will be selected at random to each receive a Raine Benares Prize Pack: a copy of Bewitched & Betrayed with additional book goodies (postcards and bookmarks from all four of my books, plus a fridge magnet from Bewitched & Betrayed) – all signed and personalized.

So read the snippets and make your choice!


Bewitched & Betrayed snippet featuring Raine and Tam

A Fencing Lesson


Tam was waiting for me. He was wearing sleek, dark fencing clothes with his black hair pulled back in a long goblin battle braid. His strong hands were bare, and a pair of steel-mesh dueling goggles dangled from his long fingers.

Like most goblins, Tam was tall and leanly muscled, and as I’d experienced on more than one occasion, Tam was also lightning quick. His pale gray skin set off what was a goblin’s most distinctive feature—a pair of fangs that weren’t for decorative use only. A goblin wouldn’t hesitate to use them if a fight turned dirty. Tam wouldn’t hesitate to use them if I got within nibbling range.

Tam’s black eyes gleamed in the club’s dim lighting, lighting he wasn’t going to turn up for our lesson. Sarad Nukpana’s goblin eyes were at their best in this kind of light. Either I learned to adapt or I learned to be dead.

Goblin swords were both stabbing and slashing weapons. Goblins used two blades as naturally as breathing, like extensions of their arms. They were taught from an early age. Elf children played with building blocks; goblins learned to spin blades.
Tam stood facing me, his hands by his side, his blades angled toward the floor. He looked relaxed. I knew better. When Tam had swords in his hands, relaxed meant ready.

In our lessons, Tam always made the first move.

Change is good. Dirty is better.

I sauntered toward him like I was just getting into position to go on guard. Then I lunged, my blades dropped to block his, and my heel came down hard on his instep. Tam hissed and I pivoted sharply to the right, intending to pommel strike his ribs and dart the hell out of range.

Darting didn’t happen. Neither did the pommel strike.

Tam’s leather-clad arms pinned my arms—and swords—to my sides. His blades were up and crossed entirely too close to my face for any kind of comfort.

So much for darting and striking.

“Well, shit,” I said mildly. “That could have worked better.”

“My foot thinks it worked quite well.” I heard the pained grimace in his voice. “Nicely done.” Leather creaked as his arms tightened around me, and his voice lowered to a teasing purr. “The rest of me agrees. This is more than pleasant. Now how do you propose to get away from me?”

“What?”

Vegard was here, so I knew Tam wouldn’t actually try anything, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t play with me like a mouse.

Sarad Nukpana would do the same thing.

Tam was right. He couldn’t let me go.

“You chose the game, darling. I didn’t.” His lips were near the tip of my ear. “Escape from me, and feel free to do whatever you have to.”

Whew! Okay, that's Raine and Tam. Next . . .


Bewitched & Betrayed snippet featuring Raine and Mychael

Plotting & Planning

“What about the guards?” I asked. “If everyone’s supposed to believe we’re in the citadel and then Markus’s men see us, guess what? Cover blown.”

“We won’t be seeing the guards and they won’t see us,” Mychael replied.

“Then what—”

“If you can’t control a situation, you have to know every detail, don’t you?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

Mychael’s eyes twinkled from under the brim of his hat. “I’ll bet you don’t like surprises for your birthday, either.”

“No, I don’t. And what the hell does that have to do with anything?”

He leaned in close with a conspiratorial whisper. “Not all surprises are bad.”

Mychael took my face in his hands and those blue eyes gazed down into mine. There was no question reflected there, no uncertainty, and he sure as hell wasn’t asking my permission. Those eyes told me what he wanted.

He kissed me.

His lips didn’t demand, they simply took. With delicious slowness. His fingers of one hand ran lightly up the curve of my ear, lingering for a breath-catching caress at the tip before sliding down to my throat, leaving a trail of tingle-inducing heat in their wake. By the time his hand slipped around the back of my neck and pressed me to him, my hands were on him, sliding up to his chest and around his neck. My hands didn’t ask my permission, either. Traitorous hands.
Mychael’s kiss turned into a tantalizing nibble, gently pulling my bottom lip between his teeth, sucking, nibbling, teasing.

I opened my eyes and was met with twin pools of deep ocean blue, gleaming with mischief as he released my lips and planted light kisses on my nose and forehead. His lips lingered there, the warmth of his breath and body doing a fine job of banishing the night cold—or at least giving me something better to think about. His lips had released mine, but his arms were wrapped firmly around my waist and didn’t seem to be in a rush to let me go.

“What was that for?” I found myself short of breath.

“Hopefully, a pleasant surprise.”

I looked up at him, a slow smile spreading across my face. “Eh, I’ve had worse.”

Mychael grinned and his fingers found that ticklish place on my ribs and I squealed before I could stop myself. His lips instantly covered my mouth, muffling the sound. He took his sweet time muffling.

“See, not all surprises are bad,” his lips murmured against mine. “And some are more enjoyable than you’ll admit.”

“Was that a distraction to keep me from stabbing Markus?”

“That depends. Did it work?”

“As a distraction, it was first-rate.”

“My lips humbly thank you.”

“As a deterrent . . . sorry, no dice.”

Mychael pressed his lips together. I actually think he was trying not to laugh—at me. I narrowed my eyes and glared at him.

“That sounds like a challenge to me,” he said. “I’ll have to make every effort to do better next time.”

Again, whew!


Okay, everyone, hit the comment link and let us know which of these two smokin' guys you'd choose if you were Raine or which one you'd choose for you--and why. Remember, Lisa is giving away the Raine Benares prize packs described above.

For more about Lisa and her books, visit her website.

For those who want to catch up with Raine from the beginning, I've inserted at right the cover (with link) of her first adventure, Magic Lost, Trouble Found.








Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Look at the size of those panties.

Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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"AND WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?"

by Suzanne

Remember when you were a kid and your parents would say things to you like, "If your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" (That depends on why my friends are jumping off cliffs), or "Eat all your vegetables, because kids in China are starving." (Would me eating my vegetables actually stop them from starving?) or "Close the door, were you born in a barn? (I don't know, you were the adult in the room, not me--yes I was a sarcastic child and paid dearly for it). Those are the phrases we heard over and over, that made us swear we'd never say those things to our kids when we got around to having them.

Thankfully, I tried not to quote these to my kids. I did however, come up with a few of my own, some of which they say they can't wait to use on my poor grandbabies.

1. "Mom, can you make me a sandwich?"
Me: "Poof, you're a PB&J sandwich."
Them: "Awww, Mom, that's not what I meant."

2. Them, whining: "I'm hungry"
Me: "Hi, Hungry, my name's Mom, glad to meet you."
Them: "Awww, Mom, that's not what I meant."

3. Them, "You make me do chores just cause you're mean."
Me: "My job is to teach you how to be a functional human being when you leave my home. Being mean is a side benefit."
Them: "Awww, Mom."

(Aren't you glad I wasn't YOUR mother?)

Yes, my poor grandbabies will have to deal with all these questions and comments.

When my son was in middle school he did something stupid. Have no idea what it was, just typical teenage stuff to get into trouble, but not too dangerous. When I sat him down the next day to give him a lecture about it, he said, "Yeah, I know" in that slightly insolent way young teens have when they know they've done wrong, but don't really want to admit it. I thought a moment about how to get the point across so that he'd really listen. (That's him with his niece below.)

Me: "Yes, I know you know how stupid this was and I'd rather be cleaning the oven than dealing with your behavior, but see, I'm required to give you this lecture."
Him: "Required? By who?"
Me: "It's listed in the mother's handbook, page 35."
Him: "Mother's handbook? I've never seen it."
Me: "It's an invisible book of LIFE LESSONS, given to new mother's on the day they have their kids. Each stupid thing you do or are thinking of doing is required a certain lecture. Today's lecture is on page 35."
(I think we're up to page 260 by now and in the chapter on finances.)

And then there's my favorite parental comment. "And what have we learned?"

This is for those times when I want to see what they think of their behavior. If it was something good or bad. Did their actions give them the results they were looking for or end in some sort of disaster? Uhm, coming from me, I expect them to realize the decision they'd made probably wasn't a good one and not worth repeating. Their answer is usually prefaced with a deep sigh and a great deal of eye-rolling. (They are my kids after all.)

Unfortunately for my coworkers, the occasional doctor or patient, this comment gets repeated at work, too! Mostly getting laughter as the response.

So what does this have to do with writing?

In a good book, the main characters have to grow and change throughout their journey. They shouldn't be the same at the end of the book as they were at the beginning. In mysteries, they should've increased their deductive and observation skills to solve the mystery. In an adventure tale, the hero should have discovered he has more abilities than he'd ever thought in order to make the journey and save the day. In a romance, the hero AND heroine must change and grow in order to allow love into their world and gain their HEA.

So dear friends, what have we learned? What hero or heroine have you read recently that has learned a great life lesson and achieved their goal? Have you ever had to take a step back and evaluate your own behavior or decision making ability and learn from a certain situation? Got any good parenting lines you'd like to share?Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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Heidi Montag will

With the hills, which are introduced into a field and shooting, Heidi Montag is looking forward to her career as an actress in "start full picture of the movement of time."

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Write In fact, a script for the launch. I'm not even kidding. People across: One of the characters wants to play Sunday "is a lifeguard in the summer on a script he wrote himself called."


I have the first 3-D on the beach in a comedy shark attack on a small beach town and save the day with my 3-D tits, "said Monday." I also wrote an article for Dolly Parton to the Mayor to play! Let me clarify this point: all this time, Heidi Montag utmost secrecy, the writer of our generation? Jesus Christ.


Who saw that coming? James Cameron is likely to escape this area of Avatar 2, as we speak. "Well, I remember they were all crazy shit on the planet with the sick?" This time, the area monitored by 3D breasts Heidi Montag. They give me money now. "

Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2010/03/
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