Sunday, June 28, 2009

Sandra Bullock is Eliminating the Competition

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    Sandra Bullock is a dirty whore liar. She makes crazy statements about how being fat is sexy (wrong!), and yet, she's still wicked hot and weighs a grand total of 3 1/2 pounds... wet... while wearing a suit of armor. I'm not sure how she got the battlewear to weigh less, but somehow she did.
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    "I go, 'Oh my God, I've got to lose weight so I can fit into this.' But I also go, 'I haven't been to the gym in a year. Do I want to go to the gym? No.' At some point I will start running again and I will get there," she said. "There's something sexy about a gut. Not a 400-pound beer gut, but a little paunch. I love that."

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    I think this is a crazy plan to get rid of all other thin, sexy actresses. First, get them all feeling good about their bodies. Second, stop them from going to the gym.


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    Third, send them all a year's worth of free Krispy Kreme donuts. Fourth, Sandra Bullock becomes the top grossing female star in the world... it's almost crazy enough to work. Quick, Jessica Alba must be warned!

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