Shnappy Days are Here Again

Ha ha ha

It went like this. Electra was sparring for a fight with this female security guard in the library. I had blew off my therapy today, simply because I was tired. The coffee wasn't a panacea to my tiredness. I was still sluggish without sleep. I fought back against the sandman all day, trying to write, all the while yawning and tearing at the eyes. At one point I was snuck from behind, and blacked out in the chair, but I recovered after a short bout of sleep. Why am I telling you this?

Well there were many occasions to bust me sleeping in regards this woman security guard, who my brother and I lovingly call 'SCHNAPPY'. SCHNAPPY is a much older woman with straight black hair pulled back into a silly pony tail. She has this exaggerated English accent like Electra, betraying their British teachers.

But that's neither here nor there. The point is is that SCHNAPPY has a hard on for Electra. Because, like I said, she could have busted me, but she was never around. As soon as Electra comes to her cubicle next to mine, SCHNAPPY appears, walking about and around us. Now, my brother OBSIDIAN likes to say how we will soon 'train' SCHNAPPY how to do her job. Which is to simply LET THE FUCK UP. She is a fucking stickler to the rules that no one follows. Her superiors have wound her up to take everything seriously. To go after the littlest infraction as if they were large ones. I know that your job is boring, but you can't make it exciting by being the sheriff of this one horse town.

And that's just who Schnappy thinks she is. Marshal Dillon coming to clean up the mess. Well, to make this story happen, Electra lays a newspaper on her desk, opens to the crossword puzzle, puts an elbow on the desk and rests her head in her hand. She begins to work on the puzzle. Now the thing in her favor was that the supervisor had just walked past, looking her over and finding her awake. Shortly after that, here comes Schnappy. You see what rocks this shipwreck is about to crash upon, don't you? Schnappy goes up to Electra and says something stupid like, "you aren't trying to go to sleep there are you?" Holy Shit, you would have thought that the woman stuck her thumb up Electra's asshole. This girl looses her top, telling her to get away from her at the top of her voice. Schnappy comes back at her, saying that she is always sleeping in the library. This only enrages Electra more. She tells the security guard to go away, to get lost, to shut up. Schnappy counters with what a recidivist Electra is.

Suddenly Electra gets up, claiming to go to the supervisor. She walks by Schnappy who follows in her wake. Both women shouting, in the library mind you, at the top of their lungs. The sound of their altercation fades, but does not die out. Then suddenly it is snuffed out. I sit in my seat, shaking my head, although inwardly I am holding back a solid guffaw. Enough so that I threaten to piss my pants.

Electra returns in a huff, takes her seat and sulks. Shortly the security supervisor comes up and reassures her that this will never happen again, and if it does she is to come directly to him. I shake my head because I saw this coming from a long way off.

This is just the antics that happens on one of my days.

I close up shop early and head to Starbucks to blog, and bullshit with OBSIDIAN until it's time to head downtown. I hit the Box early and retire to my computer.

This day had ended with only a modicum of laughter.

The box is silent tonight. I call my mother and then crawl into bed.

I hope the schnappy's don't bite.

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