Monday, February 1, 2010

Happy Trails, Titanic

    So it's happened. James Cameron has ended the run of James Cameron atop the all-time movie box office charts. "Avatar" has surpassed "Titanic". A tear...

    Oh, I liked "Avatar", but by no means did I love it. Not like I loved "Titanic". It brought me close to God and it ignited my Winslet Infatuation. To this day it still tugs on my heartstrings. No doubt one day at the Siskel Center I'll find myself in a knife fight with some cinéaste who condemns its "broad themes". And so in honor of its final days as the Box Office Champion I have decided to compose a poem in its memory by employing some of its "famous" and "quality" dialogue. Enjoy! If not, go rent "Transformers 2" and leave me alone.

    I saw the iceberg
    And I see it in your eyes
    Please tell me the truth.

    I fell for this movie
    Like Churchill fell
    once he’d had too much vermouth.

    It's like being inside a dream
    Or something
    There's truth but no logic.

    It’s why once every year
    No questions asked
    I sit down to watch it.

    Water that cold
    Hits you like a thousand knives
    Stabbing you all over your body

    It's the same as when Rose
    Said her last name was Dawson
    And sent me weeping into the lobby.

    She looked at him like an insect
    A dangerous insect
    Which must be squashed quickly.

    Thomas Andrews became my hero
    Not for his grace
    But for parenting Sydney.

    with the number of lifeboats
    times the capacity you mentioned
    it seems that there aren't enough for everyone aboard

    Titanic, my Titanic
    You will always be George Washington
    Avatar is just a big bunch of Gerald Ford.
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