Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A Fairy Tale Comes True

    posted by Aunty Cindy

    Once upon a time, a very very long time ago, there lived a little dark-haired girl of Irish heritage who loved stories. When she didn’t have her nose buried in a book, which was actually most of the time, she made up stories for her own and her best friends’ amusement and/or amazement.

    This little girl secretly thought that the most wonderful thing in the world would be to write a book and have it on the shelf of the library or bookstore where anyone could read and enjoy it. But she knew that this could never happen to her, because authors were very special people who were not at all like the ordinary people all around her. So she kept writing her stories, mostly in secret, and dreaming.

    XX years (insert your favorite number between 20 and 90) passed, and the little girl grew up and had a family and a career. She still loved to read, and she could never quite give up her secret dream of writing. Also, somewhere along the line, the girl (now a woman and not so little) figured out that not all authors were up there on that very special pedestal. Some were real (if not quite ordinary) people just like her!

    Finally, unable to stand her Dreaded Day Job any longer, the not-so-little woman quit! Even though most of her co-workers thought she was crazy, she left her career to do what she had always loved most – WRITE STORIES! It paid far less than the Dreaded Day Job, but was much more fun and healthy.

    Like all good fairy tales, this one has a happy ending! Turns out that the not-so-little woman was pretty good at writing stories. She even finaled in a VERY BIG contest and made some of the most wonderful friends of her life. Eventually, after X years (insert your fave number between 3 and 4), a real live editor called the not-so-little writer and said, “I want to publish your Irish book.”

    The writer screamed, “Yes! YES! OMG YES! (much like her heroine did on page 157)” and then she proceeded to tell friends, family and everyone she knew (and plenty she did not know) that she would soon be A PUBLISHED AUTHOR! It was just a matter of waiting a few hundred days for her book to be on the shelves.

    So our not-so-little author and all her friends (and even some people she didn’t know) waited and waited for the day when the Irish book, now titled The Wild Sight: an Irish tale of deadly deeds and forbidden love to appear on the bookstore shelves.

    THAT DAY IS TODAY!!!!!!

    The author (that would be ME) and all her friends (that would be all of YOU)

    PARTIED EVER AFTER!


    Dreams and even fairy tales can come true!

    Please help your olde Aunty celebrate the release of her debut novel The Wild Sight. And share with us about one of your dreams that came true.

    One lucky commenter will win an autographed copy of The Wild Sight, and another will receive a box of chocolates filled with Bailey’s Irish Crème!

    PARTY HARDY EVERYONE!!!Source URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2008/09/
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Bitching the Way

    I did the 'work' thing today.

    It was a relatively slow day of filing files and answering a few phone calls. At least I had a chance to fix a printer jam. The usual assistant stuff.

    I also called for the damn interview. I was nervous as Hell. I wanted to wire my teeth shut they were chattering so hard. Daniel got on the phone, and was very cordial. He asked me if I wanted to come in tomorrow. I said yes. At 4:00PM. Wish me luck.

    I didn't go to Starbucks this morning, but instead stayed to press my shirt for work. And to go to that fucking stupid morning meeting. I stood there like a handcuffed dummy while we went through the process of picking winners for perfect attendance. I wasn't on this list this day. I missed one day too many. I was out last week. Besides you can't win twice in a row, so there is no reason for me to go to the meeting for awhile.

    It was like standing in the middle of the Planet of the Apes. These cretins were restless and damn near rowdy. It was annoying. The meeting consisted of drawing lots, calling out the names of the winners and "have a good day." WTF??

    I blew that pop stand fast, and headed uptown to work. Do you know, when riding the Way, I find a myriad different things that piss me off? Stupid shit, that largely tourists do, that is downright annoying. Hey, I'm not tourist bashing here, but some of them are too much for words. A real New Yorker would never do some of these things for fear of having his/her head handed to them in a bowling bag.

    For instance: I'm walking upstairs and there is a family forming a phalanx on the stairwell as they come down. From the little larvae all the way up to the parents, they have to spread out across the entire stairwell, as if they are the royal family coming down out of Buckingham Palace. Well I give dad and mom a real New York greeting by plowing between the both of them as I ascended the stair.

    Hobobob, you're a real sonof- abitch. No I'm not. I'm just practical. I have to get up the stair, so unfor- tunately I have to plow through someone. Who should it have been? The kiddies. Then I could be called a sonofabitch. But I chose the parents because they are bigger and should know better. Make room for the OTHER COMMUTERS kiddies. Simple.

    Just a little spice for their riding pleasure.

    Another pain are fucking bike messengers too tired to ride their bikes to and from their pickup locations. So what do they do? Bring their fucking grungy, shit covered trail bikes into the Way during RUSH HOUR. What in the fucking world??? You have to make room for this stainmaker because this asshole is in a hurry to pick up a package and just doesn't feel like biking down to get it. Dude, you're a FUCKING BIKE MESSENGER. That's the route that you're supposed to take. That's what you do. You don't come and pack your shitty rack into the crowded Way, it's as simple as that.

    Irritating, when you have dirty clothes on to begin with, and don't really need them more dirtier.

    I've got one last one....

    The dumb fucks that stand in front of the train doors like deer in the headlights when the train stops in the station. These piles of excrement stand right in front of the doors as if there isn't a wave of people looking to pour out. I wish that I had an oversized right foot, about the size of a small car, and come out with it first, landing on a swath of those dumb motherfuckers, crushing a path right through the center of this orgy of stupidity. I'm serious. It's enough to make you scream.

    And then when you get out of the Way, you're supposed to be a cordial, courteous New Yorker heading to work. No, that shit wires you up.

    Now I'm planning to leave the comfortable Starbucks to head to the box for even more acts of wanton buffoonery. I wipe my face with a harsh, dry hand, trying to rub feeling into my features. I wonder what Roundtree has for me tonight. Just this morning he had me print out some sort of biblical piss and vinegar newsletter from somewhere in Wisconsin. He says to me that it comes out every month. I expect he believes that he's going to have me print this shit out monthly.

    Then this massive moron comes up with: "Dude, you'll have to teach me how to do this shit one day." Like never boss, I think to myself. I say: First you've got to work on getting the hardware. And he replies with: "Oh, I can learn on your stuff my man." The forward punting gall of this guy. Roundtree is getting to be more and more of a headache each day.

    The minute I get home, here he comes with computer questions. He asks me to check and see if a CD is encoded. He claims that he bought a music CD from a street vendor, to 'help him out', and the disk is empty. I look at the disk and can tell it's blank. You've been rooked Roundtree. "Awwww shit man, that's what I get for helpin' out a brother!"

    You help people Roundtree? Just the other day this guy was asking me for Q-tips and Baby powder. He is the ultimate consumer. A blob, rolling over and ingesting everything in his path. If he's not asking you for something he's not breathing. This is the truth. The man is proving to be a leech.

    He reclines across his bed and says to me: "Hobobob, what do you think of a hundred and sixty dollars for an Ipod?" I don't think about it Roundtree. You shouldn't be either. "Why not," he asks, sitting up on his bed. Because you have no way of loading music onto it. You don't have a PC. "Hell, I can use yours," he replies matter-of-factly. I turn to look at the television audience. Can you believe the stones on this guy? You can forget that Roundtree, I don't have any music on my laptop for you. "Well can't you download them from the Internet?" You must realize something folks. The Internet is God's gift to mankind for homeless people. It's not a tool but an answer to every problem in the world. It's a wonder that the world's medical leaders don't use it to find the cure for cancer. All you have to do is put 'cure' in a search field and hit the button.

    No, Roundtree, you can't download anything from the Internet. "Well, my brother has all the equipment that I need to download music into my Ipod." Well then you're set, you don't need me and my computer. He sulks over this. Largely because he and I both know that his brother has bullshit to load on his Ipod. What he does HAVE is an opportunity to ask me again at a later date if he can load music from my laptop.

    Too bad if you want to know. I don't have time to hold these guys hands. And I can tell when someone has designs on my baby. They are preoccupied with it. I tell you, it'll only be a matter of time before Roundtree will ask me can he use it for something. Probably to watch a movie, or listen to a CD. Something ridiculous. And the shocking thing is that he will honestly think that I'll say yes. Even though he is constantly designing things to do with my laptop, he will not stop, of this much I'm certain.

    Like Seth, who made it his life's aim to separate me from my baby long enough to use it. For what reason? To play chess. Can you believe that. That was his Earth shattering reason. Like Seth so goes Roundtree. Not going to happen, I don't care how hard you try.

    Roundtree is everywhere tonight. Back and forth from the bathroom to the bed and then back again. He is restless. And so am I.

    I think I'll continue to blog.

    HobobobSource URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2008/09/
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The Tables Have Turned


    I got this email the other day:

    "you got a call on my cell from: Daniel at [Webpage Interview] at 4:56 PM today - Friday. I took the info, acted professional (ha!) and told him I would give you the message."

    Well it looks like I got my interview. Here comes the big jump. Dealing with a deadline every week. But if it works for me, it's a feather in my cap. I feel good about this. I'm making progress. All I have to do now is get the interview and ace it. I have a high confidence level in this because I CAN ONLY FAIL. It's good when you're coming from behind. When you have only a few chips to play the game, you really can't lose your shirt. I'm at the bottom as it is. I can only end up going somewhere else.

    I'm invincible because I'm already defeated. Ha ha ha.

    That's my plan boys and girls. This is another stair step. A move through the microcosm. I find myself in the Madison Avenue Starbucks again, with the busted toilet. Stupid fucks. That's all I have to say about that. Good thing that the water pill has already done its magic for the day. My brother and I engage in healthy banter until it is time for me to snag the Way and head for the Box. I bid my brother farewell and good evening and return to the madness.

    What was on the deck for tonight? Look, it was a simple thing, the dresser was moved all the way against my headboard. Now I had a small space between my dresser and my bed to store my bottled water. No doubt Roundtree moved it. So I'll just move it back a bit and explain it to him why. When he did come in and I did explain it to him he blows up. "I really don't care! I just moved it because dis boy ovah here goes to the Techs tellin' them that I'm all over da place with my stuff. Why does dis motherfucker have to fuck wif me?" Whoa, Roundtree, what are you talking about? He repeats himself, using language not appropriate for a Christian. He revisits the emotions of the encounter. Somehow for some reason, John went and complained to the Techs that Rountree had his stuff 'all over the place'. And in fact, he does have a lot of stuff, and he did 'expand' further than the barriers of his bed area. I can see John going to the Techs, but I would have went to Roundtree first. He is an amicable guy and would have easily moved his things. But to go to the Techs only escalated the issue and threw bad blood into the water.

    I understand you, I tell the heated Roundtree. I know what you mean. But I didn't go into how I agreed with John. No, that would just be throwing logs on the fire. I stop the conversation instead, put on my headsets and drown him out.

    True to my life, Roundtree is already starting to chafe in the dorm. He gets on Willie's cellphone and has a conversation with everyone he knows. Now that's not so bad, but he's one of those people that has to talk at a volume as if the person is down the block. I turn my headsets up further to drown him out. He goes from family members to friends and back to family members.
    It's almost unnerving, and like I said, true to form, it's annoying. Because I have already claimed him as a friend and 'cool' everyone in the Dorm is looking at me for an explanation. I have none.

    I am so grateful that he says he has to go and take a shower, and Willie appears looking for his phone. Now that's the end of that. I wonder what more surprises Roundtree will have for me. Here's a note to take down everyone...NEVER THINK THAT. Because no sooner does the thought hit my mind does he return and makes a big production of getting on his knees and praying. Now I have nothing against praying, I think it's a beautiful thing when a person acknowledges a supreme being, but this ramp up to prayer was a might bit over the top. The pacing back and forth, the kneeling partially in the aisle. It was a little much.

    Maybe I'm already sensitive to the man. Maybe everything that he does now will reflect upon me and I don't like it. Maybe I shouldn't give a fuck and let the man be himself and I'll be myself. Maybe I shouldn't have so many maybes about shit that isn't directly controllable by me. I think that's the maybe I should listen to. I burrow my head in my laptop. I'm going strong. SOMEBODY STOP ME!!!

    I smile. I've been wearing a cheese eating grin for some time now. Ever since the SHOUT OUT. Nothing, not even the antics of Rountree and the Box can get me down now. I wrote this Haiku which is indicative of how I feel:

    The caged bird soars high
    Wings beating the naked skies
    It can't be held back

    May you feel this way too as you face your day tomorrow. It can't hurt.

    HobobobSource URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2008/09/
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Alphabet Bags.

In a bind

Swissmiss's House

In Retrospect


    As I sit in the Big House it was submitted to me by one of my closest of friend about a comment that I had made in a previous post.

    "I had nothing, not even a change of clothes. But I had three things that kept me going when the bottle could no more: the fibre of a broken being, the tattered remains of a life, and...my baby."

    I would like to elucidate on that a little. I think I could be or may have been misun- derstood by some. My life at that time was an internal warfare. It was me versus my need for the bottle. Drinking was how I made it through my day. Many of my closest friends will tell you that. I got up drinking and didn't stop until my head hit the pillow. But when I found myself homeless, and the alcohol cushion wore away I was left with internal energies that could have failed me. The battle with the bottle, the battle against living life without it, all of these tested the fibre of my being. Me. And so, the three things that kept me from going mad in the insane position that I found myself in without my self medicating myself was first: the fibre of a broken being: The pieces of me that I had leftover after a ruined marriage, the loss of many friends, the loss of job and home and the assorted mixed and jumbled feelings that go along with it. Kind of like what you would feel if you got a pink slip on Monday. But many times worse. I had to deal with this. Second: the remains of a tattered life. See the above. And one other thing: my baby. A way to voice this outrage and pain that I was going through, and for the most of it, I did it through seeing the humor of the thing. But I had a way to vent them all, through my baby, even she being a gift from a thoughtful friend. These are all internal things, things that I can only blame myself for having, or not having. This all began and ended with me, an internal conflict and salvation.

    And it's at this point that I need to let you know that there were people who were there for me, and they know who they are and they read this blog. There is no reason to go into trying to name them all, because I would be heartbroken if I left one out by mistake or error. Suffice it to say, they were all godsends and I love them all.

    I fear that the above comment made might be taken out of it's context, so I wanted to paint a clearer picture of what I meant. This has not been a singular journey but one having many helpers. Like Lewis and Clark had Sacagawea on their way across the country to aid them, so did I have aid to get where I am now. I feel for the many homeless people out there that do not. Those out there that are truly alone.

    I have not been rescued from all pain, but I have been rescued from at least that one.

    I love you.

    HobobobSource URL: http://extravagancedeplumes.blogspot.com/2008/09/
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